Why you need to stop comparing yourself to others

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It is so hard these days not to feel overwhelmed with the amount of information out there. We are bombarded with blogs, videos and messages from other people in the same situation. But is it exactly the same situation and should we be comparing ourselves to them?

comparing

The answer is no.

Why you should stop comparing yourself to others

We humans learn by imitation mostly. We tend to mimic our parents’ traits and we feel integrated in groups where there are shared features.

When it comes to pregnancy and motherhood, comparing yourself to other pregnant women and moms is very dangerous. And it is often addictive. But with a little bit of practice you can get yourself out of that vicious circle.

You read about other people’s experiences and feel them as your own? That is totally normal. However, you always need to remember that each person’s experience is unique, that their background, situation and circumstances are different than yours (sometimes radically different).

Example: Imagine there is a vlogger mom doing a review of a product for babies that she has used and loved. She can recommend it because it has worked for her. But it doesn’t mean it will work for you, it is not a guarantee that you will love it too.

So in the same way, if a person has a bad experience and shares it with you, it doesn’t mean that you are going to have the same experience yourself, even when your situations look fairly similar. Two different people, two different cases.

The problem appears when you start stressing about other people’s cases in the anticipation that it is going to happen to you.

That is why it’s crucial to develop the habit of separating your life from other people’s.

How to deal with it

Remember that you are unique and so is your experience.

Whenever you find yourself reading or hearing about someone else in a similar situation than yours and you start to feel nervous about that same thing happening to you:

Take a deep breath, count to three and tell yourself that just because that thing happened to this person it doesn’t necessarily need to happen to you. You will deal with it at the time if it happens but there is no sense in worrying about it now before it has even shown to be similar in your own experience.

It is also helpful to convert those worries into positive affirmations: take something that worries you and transform it into a positive. Example: Someone talks about gestational diabetes and you start worrying it might happen to you too. Instead of comparing yourself to that person repeat this in front of the mirror: “I am healthy, my test results are good, all is fine”. The thing is, you don’t have reasons to worry about it, your health is fine so focus on that 😉

You can find more information on positive affirmations here.

Activity

Can you think of a moment when you have compared yourself to someone else and explain why your experience is different from theirs? Share it with the rest of us in the comments below 🙂

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PregnantWarrior

I am the owner of this blog, which is intended to be a safe place for pregnant women to talk about the stress and worries that we experience during pregnancy and beyond. You are a warrior too, welcome to the team!

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