Sometimes, pregnant women feel that they are alone in this journey. But it is important not to neglect the importance of the other part of the equation – the Future Dad. If you are lucky enough to have a supportive partner, there are different ways in which the relationship can be strengthened by fighting stress together.
The role of the future dad
It is easy to forget that a pregnancy is a thing of two. And I don’t mean you and the baby. I mean you and your significant other.
Sure, you are the one who gets the nausea and the “all-day” sickness. Your back is the one that hurts and your belly is the one that is getting bigger by the second. Absolutely. But you are not alone.
However, your partner is the one that suffers in silence when you are in pain. It is a feeling of frustration not being able to relieve your aches… But he tries. Future Dad will give you massages and he will bring you food and remind you to take your vitamins. He is the most probable target of your mood swings and the one who dries your tears after one of your unexpected outburts.
In brief – he is your support, your rock. And he wants to be useful.
The thing is, he can be really useful, and more than you think. Not only he can do the physical activities that you are not supposed to do. He is also there to help you fight your worries and fears.
Deep inside, and whether he lets you know or not, he also gets stressed sometimes. It’s just natural, after all – his life is going to change for ever. You are both in this together. Embrace that feeling – you are not alone. Your feelings of insecurity are totally normal.
The good news is – those insecurities can be fought. And Future Dad plays a major role in this.
How can Future Dad help you fight stress?
1. First of all, you need to get real with him.
Take a break and sit down with him, discuss all the things that are on your mind. Your fears, your worries. He can only help you if he knows how you feel (no one can foresee what you don’t tell them!)
2. Write your worries down and find a positive counterpart
If you write your worries down, you will more likely realize the dimensions of your stress.
Create a bulleted list with all those fears and figure out with future dad a positive counterpart. Let’s see an example:
- I’m scared of having a miscarriage / I am in perfect health and the doctors are positive about the baby’s health too. I have nothing to worry.
Sometimes, instead of a positive counterpart, you can find a solution:
- I am worried about breastfeeding / We are going to find some online courses and we are going to hire a professional to teach me how to properly feed the baby
3. Finally, create a plan to de-stress
You actually need two sets of plans: one for when you get stressed and another to prevent getting stressed.
Plan for when you get stressed:
Ideally, if you follow this blog’s advice and the tips from our Beginner’s Guide to a Stress-Free Pregnancy you should be feeling less and less stressed every day. However, you can’t avoid feeling worried sometimes. And for those moments you need an action plan.
You can plan an action like:
Whenever I am going to feel stressed, I will ask for a hug.
Then Future Dad can easily know that you are feeling uneasy and can calm you down with supportive words.
Other action plans include – but feel free to expand the list:
- Going to a quiet room and take deep breaths
- Listening to a relaxing playlist
- Reading a book with positive affirmations (you can make it yourself too!)
- Working on a coloring book
- Taking a walk
Plan to avoid getting stressed
The best way to fight stress is to prevent it from happening in the first place. This works better when you have a routine, a habit.
Make sure in your daily routines you include activities that are relaxing and calming, as much as you realistically can. You won’t be able to visit a spa or get a massage every day but there are little things you can do.
For instance, here are some suggestions:
- Make Fridays “Funny Movie Night” and choose a movie that will make both of you laugh
- Make Sundays “Home Spa Day” and pamper yourselves with a relaxing foot bath and the like
- Don’t cook every day. It is fine if you order take out some days or if you just put some fish sticks in the oven
- Set up a weekly Date Evening and go for a nice walk or a movie or a nice restaurant
The point is to find activities that will distract both you and your partner, so that you don’t focus on the negatives and worries.
What activities have you incorporated into your routines to make life easier and happier? Share with us in the comments below 🙂